I Can See Clearly Now
Posted by Tameeka on Thursday, July 30, 2009
Under: Sexuality
What a beautiful experience it is to learn that "you have to actually open your eyes to see what you are asking for." Expectations are the driving force for creating new realities. It is fear that keeps our eyes closed, which could manifest as complete blindness, regarding the vision or the lesson. Then there is Ego that blurs the vision, prohibiting us from connecting with sight of the Higher Self. For the past several days I have been manifesting a new perspective of intimacy, acknowledging the feelings, thoughts, and patterns that I used to operate in, while choosing to accept that, Life wants to embrace, hold and Love me! In this particular experience a King presented him Self in the form of a partner from a "[past] liftetime".
The unseen factor of this experience is that we had never been intimate before. This fact alone left the door wide open for my Ego. She showed up strongly and intended to completely entice this King! In this moment there was a great resistance between carnal satisfaction and healing or manifestation.
My thoughts and feelings gently ebbed and flowed like waves. There were moments in which I was disengaged from the experience, another moment where I was reminded that he is "in a relationship", but the other thought, with this particular King, regarded his religious beliefs- which present so many different types of bondage- specifically restriction from sex (fornication), and not engaging in intimacy with other people besides the one you are "committed" to.
I had no concern for his girlfriend. She does not exist in my physical plane; and living in my Truth, in my own unique moment, is a lesson for anyone, in whatever form it presents itself. I even acknowledge that my actions honored her goddess form by not denying my Self such bliss!
The morning after, I was simply emotional. I felt the need to cry, though I didn't know why. I could imagine that it was related to this experience. Spirit told me to "dry my eyes so I could SEE clearly." (Afterall, this is the "seeing phase" of moon manifestation.) So, I decided to reach for the phone and see if I could possibly gain clarity. Knowing there was more that this King had to reflect within me.
This is the text conversation and revelation from that following day:
Me: You know that I believe people are reflections of each other. I would like to know more about myself. Can you please be honest about your feelings last night."
[This was the most simple way I could ask what I was desiring, because I didn't want him to be frustrated or confused. Sometimes I don't use certain vocabulary, in anticipation that people won't understand what I am saying. This is a reflection of how I don't expect to be fully accepted. This is beautiful! Yes! Another area of Self to acknowledge and reshape; to know that all I have to do is present my total Self, and the rest will unfold as it should.
The night before, he had already told me he felt "down", which, I assumed, meant he felt "guilty". Since I didn't feel "guilty", I knew there was something else to see.]
King: "Didn't you say it's done?"
[At this response, I was divided. Based on previous interaction I expected him to be distant and non-responsive, but in this new moment, I desired for him to reflect anything that Self needed to see to evolve. This was a beautiful opportunity to clear those old patterns! Yes!]
Me: It is. But it would help to know your feelings so I can at least have a lesson from it."
King; "My feelings left when you said it's done and over, leave it alone. So that's where I am. It was a lesson for me."
[Wow! In this very moment I realized that he was already reflecting me in everyway. I had already stated that the moment was over and to allow it to be exactly what it was without dwelling on any irrelevant aspects of it.]
Me: I was trying to help you cope with your feelings, because we are friends. Everthing is a lesson for everybody involved. I'm asking as your long time friend."
[I may have presented concern for his feelings, but again I was, too, concerned about my own. How did I feel to be intimate with someone I was once "in a relationship" with? How did I feel about what he was thinking about me?]
King: "Yeah. I'm over it. Not mad, no hard feelings, nothing crazy.'
[This was the most beautiful statement, I felt complete peace with it. Not only had he made a clear statement to soothe my Ego, but I found a complete revelation. My past feelings about our "relationship" were irrelevant to our present day interaction, besides the lessons that existed. It was not important to know what he was thinking about me because I create my reality, and I reflect what I feel about my Self. So, in essence I was asking my Self how I felt about Self. In that moment I realized that the Universe had granted my request and given me exactly what I had been desiring. To feel embraced, loved, and held by Life. There are some moments when this Love is felt by Spirit alone, and in some instances a physical being may be the subject, but either way...it is Life, it is Self, it is God fulfilling my intimacy needs! Yes!]
Me: "Ok."
[I was at peace and completely grateful for the revelation. My answer was simple because my Spirit was calm.]
It is my desire that sharing my experiences provides specific examples of different concepts. In this particular experience, I intended to honor the importance of "clearing" old feelings, thoughts, and patterns. Another important concept is manifesting new realities through expectations, this is seen within the "law of attraction". The Universe is always in our favor. Either the vision will manifest exactly as you expect it to, or the experience will be completely magnetized! I am grateful for the lessons that bless me in either situation!
Peace, Love, and Light to you!
~Meek~
The unseen factor of this experience is that we had never been intimate before. This fact alone left the door wide open for my Ego. She showed up strongly and intended to completely entice this King! In this moment there was a great resistance between carnal satisfaction and healing or manifestation.
My thoughts and feelings gently ebbed and flowed like waves. There were moments in which I was disengaged from the experience, another moment where I was reminded that he is "in a relationship", but the other thought, with this particular King, regarded his religious beliefs- which present so many different types of bondage- specifically restriction from sex (fornication), and not engaging in intimacy with other people besides the one you are "committed" to.
I had no concern for his girlfriend. She does not exist in my physical plane; and living in my Truth, in my own unique moment, is a lesson for anyone, in whatever form it presents itself. I even acknowledge that my actions honored her goddess form by not denying my Self such bliss!
The morning after, I was simply emotional. I felt the need to cry, though I didn't know why. I could imagine that it was related to this experience. Spirit told me to "dry my eyes so I could SEE clearly." (Afterall, this is the "seeing phase" of moon manifestation.) So, I decided to reach for the phone and see if I could possibly gain clarity. Knowing there was more that this King had to reflect within me.
This is the text conversation and revelation from that following day:
Me: You know that I believe people are reflections of each other. I would like to know more about myself. Can you please be honest about your feelings last night."
[This was the most simple way I could ask what I was desiring, because I didn't want him to be frustrated or confused. Sometimes I don't use certain vocabulary, in anticipation that people won't understand what I am saying. This is a reflection of how I don't expect to be fully accepted. This is beautiful! Yes! Another area of Self to acknowledge and reshape; to know that all I have to do is present my total Self, and the rest will unfold as it should.
The night before, he had already told me he felt "down", which, I assumed, meant he felt "guilty". Since I didn't feel "guilty", I knew there was something else to see.]
King: "Didn't you say it's done?"
[At this response, I was divided. Based on previous interaction I expected him to be distant and non-responsive, but in this new moment, I desired for him to reflect anything that Self needed to see to evolve. This was a beautiful opportunity to clear those old patterns! Yes!]
Me: It is. But it would help to know your feelings so I can at least have a lesson from it."
King; "My feelings left when you said it's done and over, leave it alone. So that's where I am. It was a lesson for me."
[Wow! In this very moment I realized that he was already reflecting me in everyway. I had already stated that the moment was over and to allow it to be exactly what it was without dwelling on any irrelevant aspects of it.]
Me: I was trying to help you cope with your feelings, because we are friends. Everthing is a lesson for everybody involved. I'm asking as your long time friend."
[I may have presented concern for his feelings, but again I was, too, concerned about my own. How did I feel to be intimate with someone I was once "in a relationship" with? How did I feel about what he was thinking about me?]
King: "Yeah. I'm over it. Not mad, no hard feelings, nothing crazy.'
[This was the most beautiful statement, I felt complete peace with it. Not only had he made a clear statement to soothe my Ego, but I found a complete revelation. My past feelings about our "relationship" were irrelevant to our present day interaction, besides the lessons that existed. It was not important to know what he was thinking about me because I create my reality, and I reflect what I feel about my Self. So, in essence I was asking my Self how I felt about Self. In that moment I realized that the Universe had granted my request and given me exactly what I had been desiring. To feel embraced, loved, and held by Life. There are some moments when this Love is felt by Spirit alone, and in some instances a physical being may be the subject, but either way...it is Life, it is Self, it is God fulfilling my intimacy needs! Yes!]
Me: "Ok."
[I was at peace and completely grateful for the revelation. My answer was simple because my Spirit was calm.]
It is my desire that sharing my experiences provides specific examples of different concepts. In this particular experience, I intended to honor the importance of "clearing" old feelings, thoughts, and patterns. Another important concept is manifesting new realities through expectations, this is seen within the "law of attraction". The Universe is always in our favor. Either the vision will manifest exactly as you expect it to, or the experience will be completely magnetized! I am grateful for the lessons that bless me in either situation!
Peace, Love, and Light to you!
~Meek~
In : Sexuality