I want to "paint" a beautiful picture for you! An incidence in which the Universe has, once again, brought perspective by way of experience. 

    The sun had finally set and allowed the earth to cool a bit. As I made my way through traffic heading for Triad Stage, I told myself, "tonight, I'm not buying drinks...if I drink anything, they will be free of charge." I purchased two Bud Light Limes, which spent all the money I was carrying on me that night, I was content with this small amount of liquid bliss. By the end of the night I had been given a total of 4 extra drinks, for free! YES!
    As the liquid bliss warmed my body, I became more comfortable with my surroundings. Usually, I am uninhibited regardless of the situation, but we all know sometimes there can be some resistance, which perpetuates growth. In which case, there are other ways to relax. Now, everytime I drink I think of Jujumama's post "Blame It On the Alcohol" http://jujumamablog.com/2009/04/14/blame-on-the-alcohol-i-love-it/ 
    As the DJ spinned endless records the energy in the enclosed space continued to escalate! At times, I would find myself resting upon the wall trying to contain my own energy that was seeking to be released. I was there with friends so the vibe was free flowing. There were moments in which we would find ourselves holding hands in a circle and surrendering our bodies to the mercy of the beat! Anyone who has been around me long enough knows I can be rather verbal with my excitement! YES! Eventually, the energy build was extremely high and I had to rest upon a wall, close my eyes, and fan myself! 
    By the time the party was ending, my body had been completely surrended. The artists were wildly freestyling in a circle so close almost everyone was touching! I closed my eyes to try and contain myself, I dropped to my knees pleading for my friends to share my energy! I couldn't handle it on my own, I mean, I could, but I wasn't sure that I should. 
    It seemed like I had dropped to my knees right under the spot light, in the middle of the crowd; my body undulating, following the random words of rhyme, a limp magazine in my hand fanning in vain, a backbend that stretched me past my limits, into a new comfort, I was absolutely carefree! 
    
    The next day I received two very alternate responses to what I had portrayed that night. One female friend, expressed that there was another young lady present during the party that was looking at me like I was crazy! My friend expressed that no one really seemed to care what I was doing until the other lady "made a face", and her vibe caused a "dominoe effect" almost. This was funny to me! I reflected on how free I felt and I was content to know that I would have desired to behave the same way, had I not been intoxicated. I also acknowledged that because this young lady had reacted to me this way, it meant that there was an intrinsic part of me that was uncomfortable with what I had done. I accepted this as an opportunity to grow pass this blockage of shame into a place of total self-acceptance. 
    The alternate response was from a King! YES! That very next day he expressed exactly what I felt..."I saw you dancing last night..." he said, "you looked so FREE..."! Yes! Thank you King for that reflection!
    Now, with being uninhibited comes a search for balance. A balance between what you are feeling, and what people are perceiving, it gets even more interesting to consider what people are perceiving, when you view it from the perspective of the "law of attraction". So, lately as I have been embracing my more sensual and orgamic nature, my body movement and vocal expression have been open as well. And as I'm wondering, sometimes, not very often, how people perceive me, I have been wondering if people think I'm a FREAK. This is where the Universe begins to bring things into perspective. 
    As I'm dealing with these thoughts, I come across another one of Jujumama's posts, "Freak of the Week" http://jujumamablog.com/2009/07/28/freak-of-the-week/ This woman is a goddess! Truly amazing! The thought of her puts me on a completely different level of bliss! As I read this particular post, I was comforted to know I was not the only one experiencing resistance with this word. The definition of the word she shared, based on her experience, is the same today as it was then. Particularly, the words "publicly horny" resonated so strongly! All day I reflected on this word and wondered if that is what I am in essence, and what that would imply. 
    Even the dictionary has harsh definitions of this word. The only defintion that would be closely suitable is: "to become wildly excited!" This I could vibe with! Afterall, my bodily and vocal expressions come forth from a place deep within that can not contain such excitement! Now, I have come to a place of peace with this word. I believe that it is one of the many words that we have to subtract the negative connotation from, and make it our own. My new perception of a freak is a person who is able to experience such excitement; uninhibited, care free, sensual, and orgasmic in nature; embracing all of these qualities with love and evolving beyond resistance into a place of growth and ultimate freedom!

I would love to know your comments!

~Meek~